Getting Back To "Normal". Maybe?

I know I've been pretty silent on here for a while. There's been a lot going on (I've had some health issues come up, been being bounced from doctor to doctor), yet at the same time it's felt kind of like there's been nothing going on. That's because since the dramatic and upsetting exit of my foster son a few months ago, my kids have not wanted any new additions to the family. As a matter of fact, they haven't even wanted anyone really coming around at all. They were hurt, and they didn't want to share their mom with any more people.

Thus, my once bustling and busy house became silent and dull, and I hated it. Two of my girls - my "strays" - who have been members of the family for years moved away, too. My Tiffany got married, had a baby and moved to North Carolina. My Kayla got engaged and left for California. So then the now-silent house became even more quiet, and it started to feel like a morgue around here to me. I could still do some volunteer work, take out clothes and food or reach out to kids in ways that didn't involve bringing them home (all as my health / pain level would permit), but coming back to the house was always a let-down. I didn't enjoy being here at home anymore. Especially since my kids are older now and very busy, which means that even though they didn't want to share me, they also weren't here at the house a lot. I found myself making dinners for no one, and eating alone most of the time. Eventually I gave up making dinners and went with frozen stuff, eaten by myself in a quiet house with a book. A far cry from what I've been accustomed to for decades. I was really bummed.

Then yesterday morning I went for a walk and I met Amber. Amber is 19 years old and homeless. Her father is in prison and her mother committed suicide when Amber was just twelve years old, and she doesn't have any real family. She told me that she did have her own apartment for a little while when she was of age to get one, but she lost her job and was soon on the streets again. She carries only a plastic grocery bag with her.

Amber was hungry, so we walked back to my house together and I cooked her breakfast (my kids were still asleep). Then she helped me pull some weeds and rake the yard while we chatted. The things I found most impressive about this young lady were her sweet demeanor and her amazingly positive attitude. While she had her own problems, I often found her looking for ways to encourage me. Really just a very kind and thoughtful person.

While we were in the yard, my son woke up to get ready for school. He saw Amber outside and said to me, "Hey, I've seen that girl around. She's always in the dumpsters." I told him how she'd come over for breakfast and he went outside to introduce himself. They talked for a while as I did the dishes and watched out the window. He did not seem annoyed that I'd brought someone home. My daughter got up next and commented, "She seems nice." So far, so good. It didn't seem like the kids were bothered.

I offered Amber a shower, which she was really happy about, and gave her some clean clothes (I keep teen-appropriate clothing around and fortunately had her size). After that she was on her way. She did leave me a phone number, but her phone is turned off right now. I haven't seen her again, but that was only a day ago.

I do hope Amber will be back. For now, though, I'm just encouraged that my own kids seem to be coming back around. Perhaps some healing has started.

Resource list for homeless youth

This is a list of resources* that I've compiled over time and I regularly offer via online ads. I have decided to copy & paste it here, so that it can be accessed at any time by someone who needs the information. Please keep in mind that I live in the Phoenix, AZ area, and therefore some, but not all, of these resources are limited to the Phoenix area.

*Please note that some info on this list may be outdated. I am currently working to update the list, but since I had not posted it for a while, I wanted to go ahead and put it up for now "as is" in case anyone is in need of these resources. Please feel free to bring to my attention any info here that is not currently accurate. Thanks!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If you or someone you know is a homeless teen, or doesn’t have a steady place to stay (also known as “couch surfing”), or is in a bad home situation that they’re thinking of trying to escape, here are some resources and information that may be of help. These organizations/resources offer many more services than those I mention here, but I will tell you some of what I know they have to offer.

Tumbleweed Center For Youth Development
602-271-9904
24-hour crisis hotline: 602-841-5799
Toll-free: 1-866-SAFE703
www.tumbleweed.org

If you are in the Phoenix area, Tumbleweed is the first place I would recommend you call. They have been extremely helpful to many kids I’ve known.

• Serves youth ages 11-22.
• Emergency shelter.
• Drop-in center.
• Transitional living.
• Counseling.
• Tumbleweed will help you with any and all necessities, from a place to sleep to food and clothes, toiletries, literally anything you might need.
• They will help you get your GED. This includes helping you prepare for it, and they will pay for your test. I don’t know for certain that they still offer this, but they gave my foster son a $100 gift card just for passing his GED.
• Tumbleweed has lots of great “incentive” type programs, such as helping you get a job and then giving you rewards (such as gift cards) for certain accomplishments like being on time for work every day, etc.
• Bus passes if you are working or going to school, or looking for work, etc.
• Tumbleweed has a lot to offer, so give them a call!

National Runaway Switchboard
1-800-621-4000
www.1800runaway.org

You do NOT have to actually be a “runaway” to get help from this organization.

• Anonymous, confidential & free crisis line 24/7.
• Helps youth up to age 21.
• Message relay & conference calls: They will deliver a message to your family for you and your parents can leave a message with them to pass along to you. If you give them a message for your parents, they will call them and deliver it. This is a very helpful service if you wish to let your parents know you’re okay, or have some other message to get to them, but do not wish to speak to them personally. Constructive messages only (in other words, they won’t call to tell your parents you hate them or curse them out for you). If you would like to talk to your family personally but feel that things won’t go well in the conversation, they will help you call them via conference call and stay on the line with you to help talk through things.
• Referrals to drug rehab facilities, shelters, family counselors, etc.
• Information regarding legal and medical issues.
• “Home Free” program: If you’d like to get home, but cannot afford it, they can provide a free Greyhound bus ticket. There are qualifications you must meet. For example, you must be between the ages of 12 and 20 and have had a missing person’s report filed on you. Up to age 18 you must be returning to a parent or legal guardian. If you’re age 19 or 20, they can get you a ticket to an independent living facility. There may be other rules as well, so please check with them.
• Bulletin Board: On their web site, www1800runaway.org, they have a bulletin board where you can post questions and get answers. It is a wonderful place to start if you have internet access and you have questions about things like what age it is legal to leave home in different areas of the country, emancipation, legal issues, how to help a friend who is in a bad situation, etc. The bulletin board is really great, and I cannot stress that enough. Very, very helpful.

Covenant House
Covenant House “Nine Line”: 1-800-999-9999
www.covenanthouse.org

• Their motto: “Food, clothing, shelter for a night: given freely, with no questions asked, no strings attached, for any hurting, homeless youth who will knock on our door tonight.”
• Nineline hotline services available 24/7.
• Urgent and primary medical care free of charge to homeless, runaway, and at-risk young people ages 21 and younger. Psychiatric services also.
• If there is not a Covenant House located in your city, the Nineline will help you with where to go. They also refer to family shelters if your entire family is homeless.
• Provides shelters, help with employment, finding a place to live, etc.
• Mother/Child program: Provides services to homeless pregnant women and young mothers with children. The purpose of the program is to provide long-term housing, health services, counseling, employment training and parenting skills workshops to young mothers so they and their children can look forward to a brighter, more stable future.

ChildHelp USA
1-800-4ACHILD
www.childhelp.org

• If you believe you are being abused, ChildHelp is a good place to call and discuss it, and what your options are.
• Does not provide immediate shelter.

HomeBase Youth Services
602-254-7777 or 1-888-254-4297
www.hbys.org

• Helps at-risk and homeless youth between the ages of 18-21.
• Local to the Phoenix and Tempe area.
• Very helpful, respectful, and non-confrontational (in other words, they will offer you help without pushing anything on you). No obligation, no questions asked.
• They have a Street Outreach Van that is stocked with food, clothing, water, hygiene supplies and sleeping bags.
• Resource Program at the Dustin D. Wolfswinkel Center for Youth: Through the program youth receive basic needs, case management, and life-skills training. Resources available at the center include food, clothing, hygiene supplies, laundry and shower facilities, bus tickets, employment skills training, resume writing assistance, support for educational needs, mental health care, substance abuse intervention, case management, medical and dental care, and referrals to obtain overnight shelter and/or permanent housing (either at HomeBase or with an outside agency). Youth are able to earn points for their hard work and, in turn, use those points to obtain gift cards, extra bus tickets, and other prizes offered at the monthly barbecue that's held at the center.
• Offers mental health and substance abuse services to the youth in all of its programs.
• Employment and education services: Employment skills training and educational assistance is available. They will also provide study guides for your G.E.D., and they will pay for your G.E.D.
• HomeBase Education Assistance Fund: Want to go to college, a trade school, or a vocational-training program? You can apply for a scholarship through this program.

Stand Up For Kids
1-888-365-4KID
www.standupforkids.org

Call this hotline and you will get a very friendly, very helpful person who will talk through your situation with you. They won’t judge, they won’t tell you what you have to do, they will just talk to you and find out what you need right now. Then they will help you get it. It’s that simple. They operate, as they say, “like a family”. Lots of resources from food and shelter to counseling, helping you plan your way, etc.

...and then there’s me...
Cheri Mason
Salmagundigeneral@yahoo.com

I’m a mom, that’s all I am. I am not a trained social worker, an expert on anything, or a miracle worker. But... I’m pretty good at coming up with ideas, problem-solving, or just listening. I also happen to have been around the block a time or two, and I’ve seen just about everything, so you’re not going to shock me and I’m not going to judge you. If you don’t feel like you’re getting what you need from the above resources, or you feel like you’re a little lost and not sure how to ask for help or what questions to ask, or you’d just like the advice of a mom who doesn’t work for any official agency, contact me. I will do what I can, and I have found that there is almost always an answer that we can find together.

The Accidental Shoe Drive

Back in December, when I was working on the "stockings project" for the youth at Tumbleweed, I mentioned several times that I was wanting to do a shoe drive. I wanted to gather up shoes - new or "gently used" ones - for the youth. I'd wanted to do it around Christmas time, and then I'd wanted to do it maybe in February, and then I'd wanted to do it at least some time before the brutal Phoenix summer arrived. If you've been following along, though, you know that my world has gone just a little bit (understatement) haywire over the last seven months or so. So, although it was in the back of my mind all along, the shoe drive idea has been put on the back burner.

Sort of.

A funny thing happened on the way to summer... Since I'd mentioned the idea for a shoe drive, talked about it a few times here and there and lamented about wanting to "get around to it", people started dropping off shoes at my house. "For whenever you get that started," they would say. Or, "Well, we knew you weren't ready to do that shoe drive thing just yet, but we were cleaning out our closets and didn't want to just throw these away..." This happened here and there, now and then, until I recently noticed that I have shoes lying around everywhere. I haven't even officially started the project - heck, I haven't even worked out how I'm going to do it - and already I have (I'm guessing here) between fifty and one hundred pair of shoes around here. And they are in the way. So I need to get moving on this. I mean I literally need to get moving on it, or else I need to just decide it isn't going to happen any time soon and go ahead and drop these shoes that I have off down at Tumbleweed.

Now, these shoes that I have - they still need to be gone through. They're in bags and boxes and I haven't even looked at most of them. I need to sort through them and pull out any that are not suitable for young people (I don't think most of these kids living in shelters are really looking for some sparkly, high-heeled old lady shoes), any that don't have mates (I don't know if there are any like this - just have to make sure), or any that are just downright worn out and don't have any life left in 'em. And honestly, some have been sitting in boxes so long here at my own house that they may be dusty and I might need to clean 'em up. So even as of now, even though I haven't officially started this project yet, there's work to be done.

So that brings me to now. I'd like to get this thing going and I'd like to hear some thoughts from all of you out there. Ultimately, I would like to bring about 200 pair of shoes down to Tumbleweed, and I'd like to make sure that the whole range of sizes is covered. One thing I learned a couple of years ago when I did my first Christmas project was that a lot of these young men are big guys, and it's hard for them to come across shoes in their particularly large sizes. So I will be looking for donations of shoes - new or used - and also I will be going out with my kids to thrift stores and yard sales in search of shoes in any sizes that don't appear in the donations. That's how I'd like this thing to end up. As far as how to reach these goals, here are some questions/thoughts that I'm asking for input on:

1. How should I conduct this drive? Should I just ask people to bring shoes to my house, or should I perhaps go to local businesses and ask them if I can place a donation box at their locations?

2. Should I offer the option of monetary donations to cover the cost of shoes that need to be purchased (any sizes that we don't receive)? Or should I offer the option of donating shoe store gift cards? Or is it just too off-putting to mention money at all, and in that case might I do better to simply ask for shoes and just pay for any needed additional shoes myself?

3. How should I get the word out about this drive? I can post ads on Craigslist and here on my blog, but where else? Any ideas?

4. Should I set an end date for the shoe drive at all? Or should I just say it's going on until we reach our goals?

5. Does anyone have any other thoughts, ideas or input? Anything I haven't mentioned or maybe haven't thought of?

So far this shoe drive is accidental (hence my title) - lol. Let's put our heads together and make it official, make it "on purpose"! Please share your thoughts here in comments, or feel free to drop me an e-mail at salmagundigeneral@yahoo.com!

A Day In The Life...

Ever wonder what one of my “typical” days looks like (if there is such a thing)? Well, probably you haven’t, but I’m going to tell you anyway. It’s just part of my recent commitment to blogging more often. So bear with me.

Let’s see… Right now I am house-sitting, dog-sitting and elderly-father-sitting for a friend of mine. My older kids are on spring break at the moment and out on road trips, anyway, and my younger son has been in the hospital (one of those things I can’t talk about). So, there’s no one at my house except the cats and dogs. Which, of course, I have to also make sure are cared for even though I’m doing all this “sitting” (why do we use that word when it is so misleading, sounding so easy?), so I do a lot of driving back and forth between our house and the house where I’m staying. With me so far?

So, I was up until about 3 a.m. last night (well, technically this morning I suppose) doing laundry and handling some matters regarding my son. This morning I rose all bright and cheery (total lie, but that’s okay – we’ll just keep it between us) at 7:30 to make sure that my friend’s father – we’ll call him “Mr. B” – took his morning meds. After that I actually tried to go back to bed for about half an hour because I was really tired, but my friend’s dogs were having none of that nonsense. So I just decided to hit the ground running and take on the day.

Let the dogs out to do their thing while I ran another load of laundry and washed last night’s dishes. Then I hopped in the car and drove over to my own house to do yard work that one of my kids was supposed to do before taking off on his road trip. Do I sound bitter there? If not, I should, so try to “hear” it that way. Because I was rather irritated. Oh, he also didn’t take out the trash. But I digress…

Over at the ol’ homestead I fed and watered our own pets and generally cleaned up the joint. Then I had to spend some time on the phone making doctor’s appointments and talking to the insurance adjuster about our roof. Oh, and this was fun – I had to return a call to CPS (Child Protective Services) regarding a matter with one of the kids, again being something I can’t talk about. I just LOVE dealing with CPS. But it goes with the territory and this worker has actually been pretty nice and of at least average intelligence, so it hasn’t been so bad this time around.

Then, while at home, I packed up some items that I’d sold from my online booth (Rummage Rampage at Bonanza.com – don’t forget to visit!) and then ever-so-smoothly dropped the whole stack of them all over the driveway when I tried to be super cool and carry them all out to the car at once. But what’s a day without the neighbors laughing at ya, right? Headed to the post office after that, and on the way received a phone call from one of my “strays”, who now lives in Vegas. She’s in town, needs to talk, wants to see me. Okay. I will make time, and I’ll call her back, I say.

Headed for the Post Office. Line out the door, as usual. One guy working the counter. Ah, well, I am nothing if not patient (which means sometimes I really am nothing – lol). I’d wanted to use the machine to pay for my postage, but it was down, out of paper. So I stood in line with my 20-foot tall stack of boxes. Well, it was more like three feet tall, but when I’m crabby I like to exaggerate and get sympathy. Heh.

Left the Post Office and headed to the Pharmacy to pick up some prescriptions. Also to talk to Allen – my favorite pharmacist because he’s always straight with me, even more than the doctors are – about some new meds they’re putting my kid on that are kind of hardcore. Allen tells me these really are the best ones for the condition in question, so I am satisfied with that. Pick ‘em up, do a little grocery shopping for dinner (because my pharmacy is in the grocery store), and head out to the parking lot to return that phone call to my Vegas stray. ‘Cause I can’t (and shouldn’t, anyway) talk on the cell phone while I’m driving. By the way, I don’t normally even have a cell phone – this one is borrowed because my friend whose house/dogs/dad I’m sitting wanted me to have one while I was staying at her place.

Talk to my Vegas stray for about twenty minutes and make arrangements to visit with her tomorrow at a Starbucks. Meanwhile, in my head, I just hope I can really afford Starbucks. LOL. But I’m not going to be at my house and I don’t want her coming to where I’m staying because the four dogs here are relentless barkers at strangers, so Starbucks it is. Count the change in the ashtray. Looks like I’m good as long as I get the smallest drink they sell. Ha ha.

Headed back to the house/dogs/dad sitting locale. It’s about 4:30 by now, and I have until 5:30 to make dinner for “Mr. B” and carry it across the street to him. After that I will have to leave to visit my son at the hospital, so I’m kind of on a time crunch. “Mr. B” is a very nice old man, so he’ll want to talk for a minute and ask how my son is doing. Better make that dinner ready by 5:15.

Honey mustard glazed pork tenderloin, garlic and parsley red potatoes, and mixed vegetables with cheese sauce. In 45 minutes – yep, I’m good. Make a plate for “Mr. B”, cover it in foil, and head across the street. He chats for a minute, which I don’t mind, then asks if I will pick up a newspaper for him. Add that to the “to do” list… I tell him I will do that, but probably won’t be back until late, so I will leave it on his doorstep – I promise.

I could really use a shower today, but that’s not in the cards.

Throw on a clean shirt so I won’t smell like someone who’s been sweating over an oven in the kitchen, and head off to the hospital. It’s waaaay across town and traffic is a nightmare. But that’s okay. I am nothing if not patient…

Visit my son. He seems to be improving, so that is good. Talk to a lot of the other kids there who don’t get visitors often (many are in CPS custody and only see their case workers – sad). The kids there flock to me like – well, I don’t know what like, but they flock to me. A few were calling me “mom” by the second night I visited. They are so starved for attention, so sad. Just my taking a moment to look at a picture they drew or praise a poem they wrote gets them all excited. Wish I could take them all home, but of course I can’t. I do give them all my blog address, though, so they can keep in touch with me in the future if they choose to, and if they need anything that I can help with (hate ending a sentence with a preposition, but whatever). Next, I have a talk with my son’s nurse, and I’m off.

It’s 7:15 p.m. by now. I haven’t eaten or showered still today, but that’s okay because eating and showering is for sissies. I head back to my friend’s house, where at 7:30 it is time to check in with “Mr. B” and make sure he takes his medication on time. Of course he asks about my son, bless his heart. Then I head back across the street, feed and water my friend’s dogs, and warm up some of the leftovers from the dinner I made earlier (okay, guess I am a sissy, because I did finally decide I had to eat). I sit down at the computer to eat my late dinner and check e-mails. Several to answer, several I have to put off because they’re inquiring about items that I don’t have here with me, so I make a note to myself that I will find the answers to their questions when I’m back at my own house tomorrow. Add it to the huge list of things to do when I’m go back there. Then I get to work: Do some online research on a few things I brought here to this house with me, things that I’ve marked, “What the heck is this?” I find a few answers, set the rest aside to work on some more later. Type up a couple of descriptions for items to list in my booth, tweet about a few things in my booth (find me on Twitter @thefreelancemom – yay!), answer a few more e-mails that have come in, upload some ready items to my booth, “update” my booth (that’s what you have to do on Bonanza.com whenever you’ve added new stuff). In-between all this, I can’t resist the urge, of course, to check my Facebook a couple of times and throw out a smart remark here and there. Ha ha. Then I make a post to my Facebook fan page for my booth, just so I can make sure everyone knows I’m still here because I haven’t been saying much there lately. Go back and look at my booth, realize a couple of items didn’t come out quite right when I uploaded them, so I spend about 20 minutes trying to figure out how to fix that problem. Get it fixed. My back hurts from sitting in this chair. Time to get away from the desk for a while.

I’ve brought a few boxes with me of stuff that was donated. Take a little while to sort through the stuff. I will be dropping of whatever is suitable at the Tumbleweed Drop-In Center in the morning (theoretically – if no crises arise). The rest I sort into “I can sell this in my booth” or “Goodwill” (which doesn’t mean it’s something bad, just might be a clothing item that missing the size tag or something). Naturally I make a mess while sorting all this stuff out, so then I have to clean the mess. ‘Cause this ain’t my house. LOL.

By this point it’s almost 11 p.m. I call and check on each of my road-trippin’ college kids, because you know they’re not going to call and check in with Mom. And Mom is always going to worry, even if they are “grown up”.

Once they’ve been confirmed as safe and either relatively sober or using a designated driver, I take a little “me time”. Fifteen minutes of doing this “mindfulness” meditation thing that my therapist has me doing (you didn’t think I lived this life and wasn’t in therapy, did you?). At first I thought it sounded silly, but I have a lot of respect for my therapist and I try to be open-minded, so I gave it a shot. Been doing it for about a month now, and I actually find it really helpful. I was surprised at that. It helps me get focused and not me a scatter-brain so much. So, once I’ve done that for fifteen minutes and now I’m feeling all focused and everything…

Back to work. Oh, but wait – not yet because my mother is calling. I didn’t call her after visiting my son at the hospital, and she wants an update about him. My bad. I fill her in, and then get to work. More work on my booth items, which you don’t want to read about in detail. After that, I have some correspondence to catch up with; I’ve been trying to update the info on my resource list for homeless and at-risk youth, so I’ve been communicating with people at the different agencies that I mention there, making sure all the info is still accurate (it isn’t, which is why I haven’t re-posted it in a while).

At midnight, I tell myself I’m going to bed early (midnight is early for me). But then, as soon as I’m in my jammies, the phone starts ringing. My foster son wants to know if I can help him some more with his FAFSA when he gets back (that’s college financial aid stuff, for you who aren’t familiar). Of course I can, I tell him. I don’t feel like being crabby at him, so I don’t mention that he could just have easily asked me that question earlier than midnight. Next call is from one of my strays who now lives in California. She wants an update on my son, also. She gets off work really late, so I can’t get mad at her for calling at this hour. Besides, she probably figured I’d be up anyway. I usually am.

Now it’s almost 2 a.m. and I’m having a hard time falling asleep. I read for a while. Then I try again to doze off, but my friends dogs love me way too much and decide they must fight over positions in the bed with me. Once I’m comfortable, the last of the dogs wanders in and needs help up on the bed because he’s old and can’t make the jump. I get myself up again, lift him onto the bed, and get comfy again. Except I forgot to call in refills on my own medications (having been focused on my kids’ prescriptions). So I get up and make that call while I’m thinking about it; otherwise I will forget. Oh, and I’d better take out the trash or the dogs will dig into it in the middle of the night. Do that. Hear the phone ring again and ignore it. If it’s an emergency they’ll stalker-call me. If it doesn’t ring again within the next few minutes, then it can wait until morning.

So again, having told myself I’d go to bed “early”, I hit the sack and start to doze at three in the morning. Will need to be up at 7:30 to take care of meds for “Mr. B”. Also let the dogs out so they don’t pee everywhere (my friend has the coolest mop, but I don’t love it that much). I’m also determined to get this stuff over to Tumbleweed tomorrow in addition to all the other errands I have to run and work I have to do and making my daily visit to my son, so I’ll need an early start. And so, the cycle continues…

I just hope that tomorrow I get time for a shower. For everyone’s sake.

And that, folks, was my day today. Fairly typical. Different issues, different crises and different things to do on different days, but the struggle for shower time and a decent night’s sleep is pretty much the norm. In any case, here’s a sample of my life for y’all. And I’ve kept my commitment to blogging more often. Yay!

(P.S. – For the record, I actually typed this yesterday and just got it posted today. Not that it matters, I’m just weird about making sure I’m accurate. LOL.)

Gonna Try To Be Better At This!

I should blog more often, I know. I’m not a very experienced or savvy “blogger”, so I often look around for tips and advice on how to be better at it (without making a whole lifestyle out of it – ‘cause I don’t have time for that). Everywhere it says to blog often, blog a lot, etc. This shouldn’t be difficult for me because I do think my life is pretty interesting, but there’s one big problem: Nobody ever wants me blogging about them!

I have lots of kids who have come in and out of my life and my home. A good number of them are grown now, and some are still here, living at home while attending college or high school; all of them are always considered part of the family. Well, most of them. There have been a few over the years, as would be expected, with whom I’ve had to cut ties. But those are far in the minority.

Anyway, not everyone ends up being what might be considered a “success story” (yet… there is always to keep learning, growing and evolving, so I don’t give up on them just because they’re grown). Those young people don’t necessarily want me blabbing to the whole world about them. Some really are “success stories”, but they don’t want me to talk about their pasts. Sigh…

Drug problems, family issues, criminal activities, etc. are all things that they want to leave far behind them, in the past and buried there. And that is understandable. There is always the concern that someone who knows me in “real life” will read my blog, and even if I don’t use any names, they will be identified simply because people who know me – and probably know them – will figure out exactly whom I’m talking about.

I am so proud of one because he used to be “this” and now he’s “that”. On another day I might feel like talking about the difficulties I’m experiencing with “X Kid” due to mental health issues, but “X Kid” wants all that kept on the “down low”. Or I might be upset because “Miss So-And-So” was dishonest with me and caused a lot of problems for our family. But, even though I may be unhappy with her, it isn’t fair to put “Miss So-And-So’s” issues out all over the internet for the world to see.

So, it’s a bit of a dilemma, but I’m thinking about ways to possibly talk about my experiences with “my” kids in some sort of discreet way. I don’t know what ideas I will come up with (I’m open to suggestions!), but we’ll see.

It occurred to me, though, that perhaps I don’t have to talk about the kids all the time, or about projects I’m working on. Especially since I’m not always working on a project, and in-between them, I can’t always talk about the kids without running into the aforementioned issues. I’m thinking, then, that I’ll broaden my proverbial horizons here. Maybe talk about myself a little more (something I should probably get a bit more comfortable with if I’m supposed to be blogging about my life), or tell you all a bit about my past and how it led me to where I am today, or even better – where I’d like to be in the future. Perhaps I should occasionally share some tips on how to live “on the cheap”, because I’m a pro at that! Maybe even – on a sort of related note – I could share some of my recipes for feeding a lot of mouths without a lot of money. See? Ideas are coming to me even as I type! : )

In any case, I’m committing to blogging more often. Making this a more interesting place for y’all to visit. There, I said it – now I just have to do it!

Happy New Year and The Scoop On The Stockings Project (Went Great!)

A belated Happy New Year to everyone! I want to let you all know that the Christmas stockings project worked out fabulously, thanks to some wonderful last-minute helpers and contributors to whom I will be eternally grateful. I’m sorry it took me a month to post here and let you all know, but my son’s illness has kept me beyond preoccupied. Better late than never, though. Right?

I owe lots and lots of thanks to:

Athene Robben and her charming little girls, Candace and Ruby
Mike Bonkoski and his wonderful family

Lisa Wagner

Molly Weeks
Leslie Daniels

For the first time in all my 42 years, we had no Christmas at our house this year. Not at all. No tree, no decorations, no gifts, nothing. My son’s illness overtook my entire life in December – all my time and all my money. I have never had such an experience as this before. The fact that we were able to pull through with the stockings project for the homeless youth as what lifted our spirits here at home and made the season “bright” in spite of all its difficulties. Thank you so much to all who helped.

Here are a few pics...

Some really beautiful stockings that Athene and her girls made at home:

Spreading out and sorting all the "stocking stuffer stuff" at the church where we got together:

Athene and her girls personalizing some more stockings with puff paints:

Laying the painted stockings out to dry:

Gustavo (my foster son) helping carry boxes of stockings into the Tumbleweed Drop-In Center:

I asked him to let me take another picture and he had to act like a goofball:

The happy staff at the Tumbleweed Drop-In Center:

That's all the pics I got - not a lot, I know. It was a kind of crazy-busy day, though, and I just couldn't keep running around with the camera. Anyway, I just wanted to share this with all of you and thank those who helped. Absolutely, positively could not have done it without you!

That's all for now, but I must say this: Here's looking forward to a better and smoother 2011!!! Right? Please!!! LOL! :)

Humbug. Down In The Dumps.

I do my best - really I do, and I'm generally pretty good at it - but even I sometimes can't pull myself out of a funk for a while. This Christmas season sucks.

In the last month and a half, my son has been in four different hospitals. Four emergency room trips, three ambulance rides, two extended hospital stays and a partridge in a pear tree. Well, okay, there was no partridge. But I'm trying to keep my humor here, people.

For a while I had to close my online booth (it's open again now, though - please visit!), and lately I can't even make or keep appointments because it seems every other day there's a new crisis with him. I've stood up the handyman, the plumber, and two of my own doctor's appointments. Shoot, he's missed his own doctor's appointments a couple of times because he ended up in the hospital first! So anyway, yeah, I'm down in the dumps.

I have no idea how Christmas is going to happen around here. We don't have a tree yet or a single decoration put up, and I haven't purchased a single gift. I am absolutely, positively determined that I will get my stockings project for the homeless youth done, come "hell or high water", as they say. But will I get Christmas to happen in this house? Gawd, I really don't know.

Well, keeping it short today. Here's hoping I will be back to my chipper ol' self pretty soon. Just wanted to put an update here for those who read. I try to keep it upbeat, but if I'm gonna be honest, I have to admit when times are hard, too.

Please keep my son in your thoughts and prayers.

Really, really, really quick update on Christmas Stocking Project!

I only have a few moments tonight, but I want to throw out an update on the Christmas stocking project. I now have two volunteer helpers; if you'd like to be involved, just get in touch with me.

I have now received a complete list of names from the director of the Tumbleweed Drop-In Center, and we will be making a total of 50 personalized stockings for the homeless youth who utilize the center.

Quick list of things we'll be needing:

* Stockings (50) - Homemade or store-bought, of adequate size to accommodate a decent number of items (probably at least 18"), and suitable for puff-painting on the cuff part so we can personalize. **Note: I have found that they have perfectly suitable stockings for one dollar at Dollar Tree!

* Puff paints or other paints that will work for writing on fabric.

* Small sized toiletry items.

* Socks.

* Stocking-stuffer sized gifts.

* Lip balms.

* Gift cards.

* Telephone calling cards (particularly important because these young people used to be able to make necessary calls from the drop-in center, but due to budget cuts the center can no longer allow long-distance calls).

* Batteries.

* Wet-wipes.

* Snack-size food items.

* Small flashlights.

* Body sprays.

* Candy (particularly Christmas candy, of course).

This list is by no means "all inclusive", and I will most surely be adding to it later. If you have items you'd like to donate other than those I've listed, of course I will not turn anything away! All items are welcomed happily!

If you'd like to help out but just don't have the time or any items to donate, you are welcome to donate a few dollars with which we can purchase any needed items. I will be setting up a Chip-In page that allows you to donate through PayPal.

My online booth still isn't open (sorry) and I don't have the shoe drive fully put together yet, either (sorry), but there will be more info to come on that within the next few days.

Thanks for reading and I hope your holiday season is wonderful so far this year!

This Year's Christmas Project For Homeless Youth

Just a quick update: The Christmas project I will be doing this year for the homeless youth in Phoenix will be... (drum roll please)... stockings! I have been in communication with the director of the Tumbleweed Drop-In Center (a home in central Phoenix that's used as a kind of daytime homeless shelter and resource center for homeless youth) and he is very enthusiastic about the project. He has provided me with names and ages of young people who regularly use the drop-in house so that we can personalize the stockings (he emphasized that this really means a lot to these kids), and we will also be making some blank stockings for any other youth who come in. Staff at the drop-in center will have supplies on hand for last-minute personalization of any blank stockings in those cases.

I have at least one helper so far on this project. If you would like to be involved, please contact me! Also, we're obviously going to need donations. We will need stockings, of course, and also items such as toiletries (small sizes) and socks, and of course fun "stocking stuffer" items. I will provide a list, hopefully by tomorrow, of more of the specific things we'll need.

The shoe drive project is still being worked out, and I should have more info on that within the next couple of days.

My online booth, Rummage Rampage, has still not re-opened, but that is also something I plan to have happening within the next couple of days.

Please stay tuned!

Gonna Need Some Help With This Year's Christmas For Homeless Youth!

Let’s talk about this year’s Christmas for the homeless youth here in Phoenix. When I did last year’s Christmas, it actually blossomed into a Christmas Day dinner/event not just for the youth, but for anyone who had no place (or no money) for that special day. I don’t mind if it turns into that again, by the way. For those of you who were there, you know it went beautifully.

I do need to do some things a little bit differently this year, though. The most important thing is that this year I cannot do it alone financially. Last year I funded the entire event (with the exception of some last-minute donated items) out of my own pocket. I did not even ask for “helpers” until a couple of days before Christmas, and I never asked anyone for any money. Now don’t get me wrong – I would not go back and change a thing. But this year I can’t do it by myself.

The details for this year’s event are still sketchy, but one thing is for sure: There will be one! LOL! I don’t know if we’ll be able to use the same church facility again, but I am in discussions with them. They are having some financial problems of their own, though, and some of their kitchen appliances (primarily the refrigerators) are not working, although they are in the process of trying to get all that fixed. In any case, I can’t be guaranteed the availability of that same space we used last year. Thus, I’d either have to hold the event at my home (unlikely because my home would also need certain repairs before I could accommodate a crowd), or I may have to rent a place.

Another thing that will most likely be quite different this year is that I will need more hands (“helpers”) and probably one main right-hand-person, because I may not be able to attend the actual event myself on Christmas Day. I can do all the work just as before, I can get everything set up, etc., but I may not be able to be physically present on Christmas. In that case, I will need a stand-in to take over and run the show.

Anyway, there’s just an awful lot that’s still up in the air. It’s all being hashed out, and something will get put together. But for the time being, I have to start asking (earlier this year) for help with this thing. I’m going to need volunteers, and I’m going to need some funds. If you’d like to volunteer, contact me either here through my blog or on Facebook (www.facebook.com/RummageRampage is my booth fan page). If you were involved last year, you probably have my e-mail address and can contact me that way (I would post it here, but I’m not sure that’s a good idea?) or by phone if you still have my number. Okay, I don’t care how you contact me, just get ahold of me! LOL!

If you’d like to contribute funds, I have set up a “chipin” page where you can “chip in”. Here is the link for that page: http://freelancemom.chipin.com/shoe-drive-and-christmas-event-for-phoenix-homeless-youth. Sorry – I had no idea it was going to create a link that long when I set up the page. Ha ha. This is my first time using chipin, so if you run into any problems, please let me know. I’m just learning about this myself, so it’s a new thing for me.

So that’s where we are right now, still in the planning stages, but needing to start getting some money together for this thing. I hate asking for money, by the way, so I am a terrible fundraiser. But I really want to do this again for the young people out there, so I’m biting the proverbial bullet. That being said, if any of you who were there last year – and know just how great this was – would like to help spread the word, I would really appreciate it. I realize a lot of people don’t “know me from Adam”, as they say, so your help and endorsements on this could really make a difference.

Once I have a list of people who want to be involved, I will plan a lunch or something where we can all get together and talk. I think it would be really nice if this year – unlike last year – we all got to know each other in advance and could talk about what each of us has to offer and/or can do. I will keep you all posted on that!

Thanks for reading, thanks for helping, and I look forward to lots of fun this season!